Juries scare me. I don't want to put my fate in the hands of twelve people who weren't even smart enough to get out of jury duty.
We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.
It's better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt.
Some people think a juggler is talented. It could be a schizophrenic playing catch.
Hope you laughed a little. A day without laughter is a day wasted.
To view the first 100 funny jokes for facebook status updates that I posted, check out that post
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