Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

Hope all you facebook lovers had an awesome Halloween. Figured my daily update of funny stuff for facebook should stay in the halloween theme of course

•Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it

TEN reasons trick or treating is better than making whoopie.
10. You are gauranteed to get something in the sack.
9. If you get tired you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you are the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6. Its okay if the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5. 40 years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don't like what you get you can go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you.
2. Less guilt the morning after.

Hope you enjoyed these few halloween facebook statuses.

Remember, It's important to laugh. A day without laughter is a day wasted

If you enjoyed these quotes, don't forget to subscribe at the bottom of the page for your free daily updates. Facebook is fun- Let's keep it that way :-)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Funny Facebook Status Update for the Day

OK, so as promised, I was going to build a blog of funny facebook statuses and images and update it daily. (I don't like to break my promises) The first 100 were posted (per my initial first post) Today starts day 1 of daily facebook updates for your enjoyment (from a dedicated facebook addict LOL)

Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.

LOL Hope you had a chuckle. Don't forget to subscribe (Again, it's FREE) for your daily dose

Talk to ya tomorrow

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Why Post Funny Facebook Statuses??

Facebook has become a most favorite part of millions of people's daily routines. Why is facebook so loved? Facebook has allowed people to reconnect with long lost friends and family that we probably would not have ever come into contact with again in our lives.
Let's face it- facebook is loved by mostly everyone. It is fun. It is a social networking site where you can talk to hundreds of people all at once. You share your life's ups and downs (which is why so many people update their status on a daily basis), you share your pictures, you look at other's pictures, you play games etc. You basically just love facebook because it's fun and keeps you from feeling lonely.

I started this blog because I am a total facebook addict. I have reconnected with so many people from my past. The one thing that I love the most is that it makes me laugh and in return, I like to make others laugh. We all know that laughter is the best medicine for the soul. A day without laughter is a day wasted.

I always love reading my facebook friend's funny status updates and the jokes they share. I look forward to that after a hard day at the office. I also spend alot of time researching funny things to say on my own facebook status. People love funny facebook statuses!! I decided that I wanted to make it easier for others to find funny, goofy, inspirational stuff just to share on their own facebook pages so I started this blog.

I will share my research with you as long as you promise (pinky promise) to subscribe to my blog (all free!!!) and to share back the funny statuses and jokes that you find. Let's work together to make facebook fun! Enjoy!

Here we go:

It is my goal to post something funny for facebook each day (so be sure to subscribe and share my blog) Let's all laugh together. The world is already too serious and stressful :-(

(Just a note before I begin- If you like one of the image ones that you see on the page, just right click the image and save picture as (in a folder on your computer) Than go to your facebook page and click the add/upload image and upload from your folder that you set up on your computer) If you need help with that- Just let me know :-)

1 )

2) is wondering why people think they are invisible when they pick their noses in the car?


4) More money is spent on boob jobs and viagra than on alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no f***ing idea why!


6) Facebook: The only place I can write on walls, poke people, own a potfarm, put a hit out on a friend, & talk about myself all day & no one bats an eyelash!


8) They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?



11) Facebook is a polite way of being nosey

12) dont you find it funny that after monday(m) and tuesday(t), the rest of the week says wtf?


14) Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition!

15) Any man can get a million girls any day. But it takes a real man to love one girl a million ways!



18) thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"

19) What has 90 balls and screws little old ladies?........ Bingo


21) You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough

22) I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.



25) Why is it that when a bird flies into a window, everyone feels bad for the bird, but when I walk into a sliding glass door, it's suddenly f*cking hilarious?

26) Why do people add me on Facebook and never say anything? ... Just hanging around watching like a rapist in a van



29) Dear Week, You are not attractive and I am leaving you for Weekend.. I'd say it wasn't you, and that it was me.. But yeah, it was you..

30) We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet we know that is not true!!



33) Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it's ok you're in the right place :)

34) wonders if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet




38) Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them

39) has CDO. It’s like OCD, except the letters are in alphabetical order…like they should be.


41) Some days... You just don't have enough middle fingers... ya know?

42) People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you upside the head, remember I had a reason

43) Hey you, looking at my status. Hi!٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶



46) Why don't you slip into something more comfortable- Like a coma

47) Meeting men at bars is like window shopping. You're looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies

48) Just saved a ton of money on my car insurance- By driving away without leaving a note



51) Virginity is like a bubble- One prick and it's all gone

52) 4 out of 5 urologists smell their apple juice before they drink it

53) So I decided today to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire




57) I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying "You're Next"! They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them saying "You're Next"!

58) I am not feeling lazy. Actually I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing

59)Oh I'm Sorry. I didn't realize you were giving me a dirty look. I just thought you were ugly like that all the time.




63) People liking my status from a week ago on facebook proves that I have stalkers

64) Karaoke bars combine two of the world's great evils. People who shouldn't drink and people who shouldn't sing.

65) Some people need to realize that facebook is a social network not a diary.



68) Roses are red, violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you

69) I think, and thus we have nothing in common

70) Don't make decisions when you're angry and don't make promises when you're happy



73) Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take one second, but instead, I am going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles

74) Nobody dies a virgin....Life screws us all

75) Thinks it doesn't matter whether you win or lose- until you lose!!




79) The smoke alarm just went off..... Dinner's READY!!

80) My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I'm not the one who married me!!




84) The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man see better than he can think.

85) After twelve years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No Hablo Ingles".

86) If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?




90) Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?

91) Sometimes getting a hard-on is the only way that I can get my wife to leave me alone

92) OMG.... there you go again looking at my profile.... Face it, You like me



95) I need someone to teach my old dog a new trick, every time she farts next to my husband instead of near me, she gets a dog treat Any takers?



98) I said 'no' to drugs, but they simply would not listen

99) Is proud of himself. He just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and the box said 2 - 4 years



If you enjoyed reading the above (and at least one of them made you laugh), Please be sure to come back for your daily dose.

Please feel free to share the blog on your own facebook.

Facebook lovers enjoy reading funny facebook status messages or posting funny status lines (so please don't be one of the people who sit around day in and day out and just update your status with downers and complaints) It is OK to vent a little but when that is all you do on facebook, nobody is going to want to look at your facebook page. Be sure to add some humor to your facebook page.

I will do my best to update the best statuses, images and just silly stuff to say and do on facebook on a daily basis. Again, please feel free to share your own on this blog as well. Don't forget to subscribe at the bottom of the page. It's free and my updates will be automatically emailed to you. Remember, a day without laughter is a day wasted :-)

Also, go back and visit the main page of the blog as I update daily and there are just lots more funnies where these came from
Here is the link to the main page of the blog

Happy Facebooking to You!!!!