Friday, December 30, 2011

Inspirational Facebook Quote to Kick off 2012 in a Positive Mindset

OK so I saw this quote tonight on facebook and just loved it so I thought it is a great one to believe in to start off 2012--- Start off 2012 in a positive mindset!!

"It is what it is"....

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Yeah!! Tomorrow's Friday :-)

Here's an early TGIF and some funny stuff to update your facebook status with
Make your friends laugh

A Rapist entered Bedroom, Tied up Husband & Wife, kissed wife's ear & went 2 Bathroom.. Husband whispers to wife - "Satisfy him, or he will kill us. Be strong. I love u"! Wife - "He didn't kiss me, He whispered in my ear that he's gay, Needs Vaseline & I told him its in the Bathroom. So U be Strong, I love u too !!!!!


Monday, December 5, 2011

Good Facebook Status Ideas

Funny stuff for facebook for the day

If you didn't have a good day today than here's some inspiration
"May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch"

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents she swallowed balls till she died.!!

(LOL- Just a little facebook humor for a Monday evening- A day without laughter is a day wasted) Hope my fb friends had a good Monday!!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Funny Facebook Status Updates

OK- so I needed to post some funny stuff for facebook today because I am having a crappy day and needed to laugh. My Iphone was stolen last night and I am in a lousy mood about it LOL but not going to keep festering on it. Just makes me mad when you work so hard to have nice things and lazy, ignorant people just think that it is OK for them to just steal them :-( Oh well, just reason for me to get a better one plus I know that Karma is a witch and that person will have something stolen from them that's even more valuable (that's the positive way of thinking I guess) OK- I've vented enough here you are Hope you all had a nice weekend

Dear Santa I've been good all year! Ok most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh...F*ck it, I'll buy my own sh#t.......

I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me

"Some day I hope to be able to afford an the girl in front of me with the food stamps :("

and that one above is dedicated to the person that stole my cell phone at Harrington Casino in Delaware last night!!!!!


Monday, November 28, 2011

Some Tuesday Funny Facebook Status Stuff

Michelle is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years

I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!

Hope you got a chuckle- Don't forget to subscribe (IT's FREE :-)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Funny Things to Say on Facebook

Back to work tomorrow. Oh my, the weekends just seem to fly by

Anyhow, you are here because you are looking for funny stuff for facebook so I will get right to the point tonight LOL

I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice

I'm really good in bed.....I stay on my side and rarely steal all the covers

Hope you got a chuckle Tune back in for more funny stuff for facebook

Friday, November 25, 2011

Funny Facebook Status Update for a Friday :-)

Happy Friday my fellow facebook lovers- Who went out and braved the Black Friday madness today? You couldn't pay me to go out into that mess. I think I will just wait for Cyber Monday instead. If you did go out today, what was the item that you saved the most money on?

OK Here is some funny facebook status stuff for today :-)

Why in the hell do I have to press 1 for English and be left on hold for ten minutes to ultimately speak to someone who can't speak English?

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend. Come back and visit :-)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving Facebook Lovers

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!! There are so many things to be thankful for. This is a true holiday for all to humble themselves. We all should stop and really think-- What are we really thankful for? May you all be blessed. Spend the day with family, friends and for most FOOTBALL too!!

Here is just a little funny stuff for facebook for the day

I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?
She said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out!!

Have a Great Day

Monday, November 21, 2011

Some Funny Facebook Status Updates for a Rainy Monday

You know the old saying "Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down" LoL, Well it's a rainy, rainy Monday here where I am (but that's OK- I'm not down) He who makes the sunshine, makes the rain right? and if I had to choose between it raining on a Monday or a Weekend, I take the Monday anyday!!
Anyhow, enough of my rambling- Here is your funny stuff for facebook (as promised :-)

O the weather out side is frightful and the pub looks so invite-full and that’s only place to go.. shall we go, shall we go, shall we go!!

If "poli" means many, and "tics" mean bloodsucking creatures, then what does "politics" mean?

Enjoy- Also, please don't forget to share some of your funny facebook status updates that you love!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Funny Facebook Status Stuff for the Day

is walking through the intensive care unit dressed as the grim reaper

Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends

Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!!

Friday, November 18, 2011

TGIF- Funny Daily Facebook Stuff

YEAH!!! It's the weekend. TGIF

Here you go- Some funny stuff for facebook to kick off your weekend

*Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women

A golden rule to live by: Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics!

Have a Great Weekend!

Take time to relax, spend some time with family and friends and laugh. Life is much too short to be miserable :-)

If you enjoyed these, check out the first 100 that I posted Here is the link

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Funny Facebook Status of the Day

It's almost Friday YEAH YEAH!! and here is your funny facebook status stuff for the day

3 facts about life: 1 You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2 Your retarded cause you just tried it. 3 Now your smiling cause you're an idiot

I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I shit on?"


If you enjoyed these, don't forget to go back to my very first post (with the original 100) for a really good laugh. The link is below to get to that post

First Original 100

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Happy Humpday Facebook!! The significance of facebook in my own life

So a cousin of mine that I am close to got into a big argument last week. We have not talked in over a week but this morning I woke up and checked my facebook and their was a post on his wall that he knew deep inside would provoke me to begin a conversation with him. I honestly believe that you only fight with people that you really care about (because if you didn't give a darn, you wouldn't waste the effort) so to get to the point of the my story (the significance of facebook) Honestly, I have over 500 facebook friends (some family, some people I grew up with, some current friends, some my daughter's friends etc- You get the point-) Just basically alot of people!!! Do I have time to talk to them people everyday via phone or face to face? Of course not. How do I know if they are having real problems in their life and need me to take time to call them or be there? FACEBOOK!! I see what is going on with them in their everyday life via facebook That is the truth. In the past week, I found out my niece has strep, 2 of my childhood friends parents had died, another friend's mother was in a horrible car accident, 4 friends are expecting a baby, 1 got a really huge job promotion etc. If I was not a member of facebook, I probably wouldn't know all this. 6 of my friends had birthdays this past week and I got to wish them a happy birthday. If it wasn't for facebook, I probably wouldn't have known all this (because simply, none of us have time to call everyone in our lives everyday) Social networking is the best (which is why I take the time to make my facebook page a place that is funny, informative and a place that my friends know they can visit and that I am there. I LOVE FACEBOOK!!! If you don't have a facebook account, you need to get one.

Happy Humpday fellow facebook lovers. OK- I'm done babbling. Here is your funny facebook stuff for humpday

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tuesday's Funny Facebook Status Updates

Well, it's Tuesday 2/3 of the work week has been accomplished. The is my favorite facebook status update for a Tuesday evening (an oldie but goodie)

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase "Regards" ever again

Hope you got a chuckle. Happy Tuesday to You my fellow facebook lovers!!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday Workday is Done!! Yeah- Time for Facebook

Monday workday is done woohoo. Thankfully, not too stressful today. Of course, you had the normal complainers who always complain regardless of whether it is Monday or Friday BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Who likes to be around negative people all the time? Not I- Not I!!!

Now I am having my favorite part of my Monday routine "Me Time" Work is done- grocery shopping, dinner, time with family (which is also my favorite time of the day of course)is all done and now it's time for me to relax and catch up with my facebook friends of course. But first, I had to find some funny humor to give them (they look forward to it so hate to let them down) but figured I would share here too (for your reading enjoyment) Hope your Monday wasn't too stressful. Enjoy, Relax, Take TIME TO LAUGH!!!

OK, I'm done babbling now. Here you go

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure… it’s called a credit card

Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving facebook emails after the weekend saying, “You have been tagged in a photo.”

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Why do I enjoy posting funny stuff for facebook?

People ask why I spend so much time researching funny stuff for facebook? Why, because I enjoy to laugh and to make other's laugh. One thing that I love to do on facebook is to make my facebook page fun. Don't get me wrong, I love to chat, get reacquainted with people, play games and share pictures. People love to laugh. People love reading goofy stuff on facebook (especially if they have had a bad day. It helps put a smile on their face) So if my funny stuff for facebook brightens up somebody's day, it helps brighten up mine

Funny Facebook Stuff for a Sunday

SHHHHH Can you hear it? It's coming!! Monday is slowly popping up again like a bad hemorrhoid LOL but I wanted to leave you with some humor to kick off your work week Enjoy

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been around for years: they call it "cash"

Hope everyone has a great Monday. Tune back tomorrow for some more funny facebook stuff!!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Happy Veterans Day

I would like to thank every child out there who will never see their mother or father again. I would like to thank all the mothers and fathers who will never see their children again. I would like to thank each and every soldier who has sacrificed their lives so that I can see my family on a daily basis! You have given your life for the freedom of others! You are true HEROES!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Funny Stuff for Facebook

Hope everyone is having a great Thursday. I am off tomorrow for Veteran's Day. Nice to have a holiday fall on a Friday for a 3 day weekend. (and of course, my heart and appreciation goes out to every man and woman that has fought for our country) Happy Veteran's Day to all the Veterans. Of every job in this world, you have the toughest, most honorable job of them all :-)

Here is some funny stuff for facebook

Today, Millions of men will pay $60 to be repeatedly call a fag by a 12 year old on Call of Duty

Some interesting stats... 3,190,374 people are having sex right now, 2,212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. Sucks to be you!

Hope you had a nice chuckle for the day (Don't forget to go to bottom of the page to subscribe to have the newest updates emailed directly to you- All FREE)

Check out the first 100 that I posted for a good laugh

Here is the link

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Funny Things for Facebook Status

Ok So here are your Tuesday chuckles :-)

In the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers, NOW THEY DRINK LIKE THEIR FATHERS...

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

If you enjoy reading my daily dose of humor, don't forget to scroll to the bottom to subscribe for the updates to be directly emailed to you :-) IT's FREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Tuesday to You

Also, feel free to share this blog on your own facebook. Your facebook friends LOVE to laugh

Monday, November 7, 2011

Funny Facebook Status

Sorry I didn't post any funny facebook stuff over the weekend. The weekend totally got away from me :-( Sucks when you work Monday thru Friday and have to cram all the chores etc into 2 days LOL. Oh well, if you want stuff in life, you have to work for it right???

OK so love to have some laughs on a Monday night so here is stuff funny stuff for your facebook to make you and your facebook friends have a chuckle

I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire

My wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it's going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.

Hope you enjoyed your funny facebook stuff of the day

Tune Back In. Don't forget to go to end of page and subscribe for the funny facebook stuff to be emailed to you (It's free and it saves you search time)

A day without laughter is a day wasted ENJOY!!

Also, don't forget to check out the first 100 funny facebook statuses that I posted- Here is the link

Friday, November 4, 2011

TGIF- Some Funny Facebook Stuff for the Day

I don't know about you but I am so glad that it is Friday!!!!!
Here is your funny facebook stuff for the day Enjoy!!!
Remember, a day without laughter is a day wasted!!!!!!
Take time everyday to laugh. Laughter is the best medicine

"What did one droopy boob say to the other droopy boob? We better straighten up or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

thinks one good thing about Alzheimer's is that you can hide your own Easter eggs!

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

If you enjoy reading my daily dose of facebook humor, don't forget to scroll to the bottom of the page and subscribe (have them directly emailed to you- It's FREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Keep your facebook friends amused

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Funny Facebook Status- 100 funniest facebook images ever

So I caught myself doing what I hate most about people on facebook. I am supposed to be posting funny facebook statuses but instead, I was venting about my frustations ARGHHHHH!! OK, enough of that. Time for the daily dose
Funny daily facebook status or just plain funny stuff to post (as promised)

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.

Now, I kept my promise by posting facebook quotes on a daily basis
Now scroll to the end of my page to subscribe for your FREEEE daily updates

Good Night Facebook Lovers :-)
Tune back in tomorrow

Check out the first 100 really funny facebook status updates that I posted
Here is the link back to that page

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Happy Hump Day Facebook Lovers

Hope all my fellow facebook lovers are having an awesome hump day

As promised, here are a few funny facebook status updates to make your facebook friends laugh :-)

Wait for It Wait For It

OK Here you go

If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons

To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!

Did you get a chuckle out of this? If so, don't forget to subscribe to get my daily dose of Funny Facebook Status (It's FREEEEEE LOL)

and don't forget to look at my very first post ever (the first original 100) for some good laughs. Here is the link to the first 100 Funny Facebook Status Updates.

Remember: A day without laughter is a day wasted!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Happy Tuesday to my Fellow Facebook Addicts

As promised, here is your daily funny facebook stuff :-)
I am super excited because I bowled my first 600 set in my bowling league tonight so I am really wound up LOL

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! "

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

Hope all you facebook lovers had an awesome Halloween. Figured my daily update of funny stuff for facebook should stay in the halloween theme of course

•Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it

TEN reasons trick or treating is better than making whoopie.
10. You are gauranteed to get something in the sack.
9. If you get tired you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you are the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6. Its okay if the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5. 40 years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don't like what you get you can go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you.
2. Less guilt the morning after.

Hope you enjoyed these few halloween facebook statuses.

Remember, It's important to laugh. A day without laughter is a day wasted

If you enjoyed these quotes, don't forget to subscribe at the bottom of the page for your free daily updates. Facebook is fun- Let's keep it that way :-)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Funny Facebook Status Update for the Day

OK, so as promised, I was going to build a blog of funny facebook statuses and images and update it daily. (I don't like to break my promises) The first 100 were posted (per my initial first post) Today starts day 1 of daily facebook updates for your enjoyment (from a dedicated facebook addict LOL)

Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.

LOL Hope you had a chuckle. Don't forget to subscribe (Again, it's FREE) for your daily dose

Talk to ya tomorrow

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Why Post Funny Facebook Statuses??

Facebook has become a most favorite part of millions of people's daily routines. Why is facebook so loved? Facebook has allowed people to reconnect with long lost friends and family that we probably would not have ever come into contact with again in our lives.
Let's face it- facebook is loved by mostly everyone. It is fun. It is a social networking site where you can talk to hundreds of people all at once. You share your life's ups and downs (which is why so many people update their status on a daily basis), you share your pictures, you look at other's pictures, you play games etc. You basically just love facebook because it's fun and keeps you from feeling lonely.

I started this blog because I am a total facebook addict. I have reconnected with so many people from my past. The one thing that I love the most is that it makes me laugh and in return, I like to make others laugh. We all know that laughter is the best medicine for the soul. A day without laughter is a day wasted.

I always love reading my facebook friend's funny status updates and the jokes they share. I look forward to that after a hard day at the office. I also spend alot of time researching funny things to say on my own facebook status. People love funny facebook statuses!! I decided that I wanted to make it easier for others to find funny, goofy, inspirational stuff just to share on their own facebook pages so I started this blog.

I will share my research with you as long as you promise (pinky promise) to subscribe to my blog (all free!!!) and to share back the funny statuses and jokes that you find. Let's work together to make facebook fun! Enjoy!

Here we go:

It is my goal to post something funny for facebook each day (so be sure to subscribe and share my blog) Let's all laugh together. The world is already too serious and stressful :-(

(Just a note before I begin- If you like one of the image ones that you see on the page, just right click the image and save picture as (in a folder on your computer) Than go to your facebook page and click the add/upload image and upload from your folder that you set up on your computer) If you need help with that- Just let me know :-)

1 )

2) is wondering why people think they are invisible when they pick their noses in the car?


4) More money is spent on boob jobs and viagra than on alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no f***ing idea why!


6) Facebook: The only place I can write on walls, poke people, own a potfarm, put a hit out on a friend, & talk about myself all day & no one bats an eyelash!


8) They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?



11) Facebook is a polite way of being nosey

12) dont you find it funny that after monday(m) and tuesday(t), the rest of the week says wtf?


14) Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition!

15) Any man can get a million girls any day. But it takes a real man to love one girl a million ways!



18) thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"

19) What has 90 balls and screws little old ladies?........ Bingo


21) You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough

22) I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.



25) Why is it that when a bird flies into a window, everyone feels bad for the bird, but when I walk into a sliding glass door, it's suddenly f*cking hilarious?

26) Why do people add me on Facebook and never say anything? ... Just hanging around watching like a rapist in a van



29) Dear Week, You are not attractive and I am leaving you for Weekend.. I'd say it wasn't you, and that it was me.. But yeah, it was you..

30) We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet we know that is not true!!



33) Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it's ok you're in the right place :)

34) wonders if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet




38) Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them

39) has CDO. It’s like OCD, except the letters are in alphabetical order…like they should be.


41) Some days... You just don't have enough middle fingers... ya know?

42) People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you upside the head, remember I had a reason

43) Hey you, looking at my status. Hi!٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶



46) Why don't you slip into something more comfortable- Like a coma

47) Meeting men at bars is like window shopping. You're looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies

48) Just saved a ton of money on my car insurance- By driving away without leaving a note



51) Virginity is like a bubble- One prick and it's all gone

52) 4 out of 5 urologists smell their apple juice before they drink it

53) So I decided today to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire




57) I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying "You're Next"! They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them saying "You're Next"!

58) I am not feeling lazy. Actually I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing

59)Oh I'm Sorry. I didn't realize you were giving me a dirty look. I just thought you were ugly like that all the time.




63) People liking my status from a week ago on facebook proves that I have stalkers

64) Karaoke bars combine two of the world's great evils. People who shouldn't drink and people who shouldn't sing.

65) Some people need to realize that facebook is a social network not a diary.



68) Roses are red, violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you

69) I think, and thus we have nothing in common

70) Don't make decisions when you're angry and don't make promises when you're happy



73) Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take one second, but instead, I am going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles

74) Nobody dies a virgin....Life screws us all

75) Thinks it doesn't matter whether you win or lose- until you lose!!




79) The smoke alarm just went off..... Dinner's READY!!

80) My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I'm not the one who married me!!




84) The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man see better than he can think.

85) After twelve years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No Hablo Ingles".

86) If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?




90) Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?

91) Sometimes getting a hard-on is the only way that I can get my wife to leave me alone

92) OMG.... there you go again looking at my profile.... Face it, You like me



95) I need someone to teach my old dog a new trick, every time she farts next to my husband instead of near me, she gets a dog treat Any takers?



98) I said 'no' to drugs, but they simply would not listen

99) Is proud of himself. He just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and the box said 2 - 4 years



If you enjoyed reading the above (and at least one of them made you laugh), Please be sure to come back for your daily dose.

Please feel free to share the blog on your own facebook.

Facebook lovers enjoy reading funny facebook status messages or posting funny status lines (so please don't be one of the people who sit around day in and day out and just update your status with downers and complaints) It is OK to vent a little but when that is all you do on facebook, nobody is going to want to look at your facebook page. Be sure to add some humor to your facebook page.

I will do my best to update the best statuses, images and just silly stuff to say and do on facebook on a daily basis. Again, please feel free to share your own on this blog as well. Don't forget to subscribe at the bottom of the page. It's free and my updates will be automatically emailed to you. Remember, a day without laughter is a day wasted :-)

Also, go back and visit the main page of the blog as I update daily and there are just lots more funnies where these came from
Here is the link to the main page of the blog

Happy Facebooking to You!!!!